In my usual cheerful, diligent manner, I run to my closet where all my author paraphernalia is stored: stroller bag for table decor and swag and assorted goodies, my "diva" signing pens, my tablecloth drape with my name and images of my book covers on them, and tabletop displays. I pull them out and clap my hands. Another author event is right around the corner!
I love these events. It gives me a chance to connect with mystery and thriller readers, an elite group of readers whom I adore. We tend to commiserate over the sad lot of souls that enjoy literary works and light-hearted rom-com fiction...not that there's anything wrong with those genres. Of course not! It's just that...there are those of us who prefer our reading fare dark and gritty, with a side helping of bloody footsteps and brain spatter and undefined sounds that startle us out of sleep in the night.
That being said, I've participated in at least a hundred author events since I first started writing; either in person or via ZOOM, but once upon a time one went terribly wrong. In my defense, I was new to the writing game, and didn't realize that certain protocols must be observed in order to succeed. So. In that vein, I present these six, definitive "no-no's" if one wants to connect with her reader base at an in-person event.
Do not come out from behind the table/podium/barrier/desk/ or rise from the chair in which you are seated. Heavens! For an author to unpredictably jump out front and approach people or wander the aisles of a bookstore in hopes of chatting about her book, or (drum roll) hand them a BOOKMARK (free); is an affront! Don't do this. You'll scare people. They'll give you the stink-eye and avoid your table (and your books) like the plague. You are an author. Decorum is your middle name. Stay put.
Don't make eye contact. Most of my events take place in bookstores and libraries. These customers desire an unhurried, leisurely stroll through aisles and aisles of books. They want to sniff the rarified air of ink-on-pages and coffee percolating in the background. They are NOT in search of new friends. If you make eye contact, they'll run. Guaranteed. An author doesn't have a chance to connect with these people. I've learned that we must hang back, resist the urge to look at anyone, preferably with hands folded on the table, eyes cast down. Then, and only then, will potential buyers approach. It's like ignoring a shy child until he finally gives up and crawls in your lap and asks for a cookie.
Never take the time to write out a witty, heartfelt prelude to your signature. If you happen to attract a few eager customers, be assured that people hate waiting. Let's say there are three or four people in line, waiting for you to sign the book they hold to their chest in their hot, little hands. The author persists in talking to one of her customers, and (horrors!) even asks where they are from. This is rude. The people in line are listening and getting antsy. Now, they're asking themselves: is she going to ask ME all those questions? I don't have time for this. I barely even want to buy a book. I think I better get out of here while I still can. And, that's it. You've lost them. Make your signature quick, cute, and to the point. Maybe add an "Enjoy!" But that's it.
Don't take a gift for the bookstore staff/library team/host of event. This is sheer bad manners. Of COURSE, they know you are appreciative. Of COURSE the hosts put a lot of effort into arranging and managing the event, maybe even inviting people or advertising the event; but they don't expect you to do anything other than show up. People don't need you to bribe them. Seriously. How insecure are you, anyway?
Do not memorize a short pitch for your series or standalone, and spew it out at will. People love to stand quietly in front of an author table, secure in the knowledge that the author will not say a word so that they can peruse the back cover copy. After all, how many hours did you spend on perfecting that copy? Don't you want them to read it? Do you want to ruin that moment by chatting them up? No. Self-control, authors. Self-control.
6. Do not overdo the swag. That stuff costs money. And you're going to give it all away? It's better not to encourage customers to grab the free stuff. Better yet, charge for it. It will make your brand all the more valuable, and they won't forget it. I've had many customers tell me they've never heard of anyone charging them for bookmarks or pens with the author name on it before. See? They remember stuff like that. They may be frowning on the outside, but on the inside, they are glowing with author brand recognition. It'll pay off in the end.
(The points made above come with this disclaimer: author had tongue firmly planted in cheek while crafting. In reality, I do all of the above with great success.😎)
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